After the arms deal with the Hispanics had gone sour Coyote was put into a super hard predicament: He had to refinance himself. You see, the arms that were stolen by the Mexicans were actually fronted to him by Native Americans. Native American’s would later be called Indians after white boy Christopher Columbus mistook them for actual people of India
Carrying on, Coyote was broke as a kettle pot. He was walking along yet another dusty road when a bird plopped one on his head. He looked up to see that she had flown away from her perch merely to excrete her waste on top of him, and then return to her nest of eggs. Since he was pissed, he threw a rock at her, it hit her head, and she died. After that he felt SO guilty. Especially when he realized he had not only killed a beautiful Pheasant, but also a future mother. Since he felt big time bad he climbed the tree and incubated the eggs himself. In that time period he ate fresh tree leaves like a Koala and slept like one too. It seemed like a pretty easy job, and eventually the eggs hatched…
He was now the father of four baby Pheasants. WOW. “What little miracles,” was his first thought. His second thought went something like “How can I make money off of this miracle?” After thinking for a couple minutes he decided to train them to do a new type of music: RAP. Rhythmic Alternative inferiority-comPlex. Yes indeed, a Pheasant RAP performance would turn this knee-strawberry all around. Oh boy. They would soon be performing outside The Four Seasons.
Out of no time the baby Pheasants were old enough to train. Coyote had nursed them properly, and now – having gained their love and trust – would train them to be low-wage/high-earning performers. Coyote trained them to free-style because it was the most basic form of RAP and also the most hardcore. Basically, saying whatever you thought of off the top of your head to a rhythm. He taught them that usually the most successful free-styles contained thoughts that are negative and mean. Eventually they were amazing at it.
At first he was setting them up next to McDonald’s drive-thru’s, but after like two weeks he had them performing outside the Bellagio in Vegas. They were cussing and saying so many terrible things you wouldn’t believe. These birds were vocally SO MEAN. The funny part was how people actually believed how mean they were. They never questioned it. They just kept walking. However, as it turns out, the reason people never questioned it was because birds can’t speak English. In all actuality, the leaves Coyote had been eating were actually hallucinogenic and he had managed to somehow incubate and hatch Pheasants and then who knows what? Either way people were giving him money outside the Bellagio because they were drunk, ahead, he had baby Pheasants, and he looked like he needed help. And that’s how Coyote’s baby Pheasants somehow turned into an investement.
